Being loving and compassionate with those who hurt us is very difficult, that is why practicing self-compassion and self-love is one of the most difficult journeys for all of us.
No one hurt us more than us. We are the ones who decided that we are not good enough with our limited thinking. We are the ones who end up in unhealthy and harmful relationships and stay there because “he or she will change” or “I can make him or her change” or “this is all I know”. Our negative self-talking creates barriers to our magnificence existence, we are engineers of our reality and as in any profession…we can engineer wonders or horrors for ourselves.
Practicing self-love and self-compassion is way more difficult than being loving and compassionate with the rest of the world. We can tune the world out of us when we want to, but we cannot tune ourselves out. We wake up every morning with the reality of who we are rather than whom we want and are meant to be. Don’t get me wrong, focusing our compassion and love outside is needed to create a world of love and happiness, but at the end, we only can give what we have within. Behind every action there is an intention, the intention has to be pure and therefore be born from the source of compassion itself…that is you. If you are not compassionate with yourself first, every day, and always you are not a compassionate being. You are someone who does nice things, and we need that in the world, but that hasnothing to do with compassion.
Compassion is a way of being a state of being. It comes from our inner connection and glows out into the world. We can be completely still and in silence and someone in your presence will feel your compassion. Think about His Holiness, the Dalai Lama. If you ever had the privilege to be in his presence you feel such a joy. You feel his compassionate being without him talking to you, or doing anything to you directly. He is a compassionate being; he is in a constant state of compassion.
How do I practice self-compassion? Accepting who I am. Accepting my life-purpose and acting upon. Loving myself unconditionally regardless if I am loved or not. Knowing that I am unique and that my unique set of skills is to be usedto make this world better not only for others but also for myself. Stop judging myself. Allowing myself to fail, knowing that perfection is just a man-made concept. Only like this, I can be in a state of mind that allows me to be compassionate with the rest of the world. I believe in a Universal connectivity so how can I practice compassion with others and not towards me?
Practice self-compassion and self-love every day. Even in those days that you feel like giving up.
By Esther Rodriguez Brown ~MA Psychology & Field Traumatologist/Yoga Therapist & Teacher~